I'm free!

My title says emotional abuse, but it was physical abuse with bullying as well.

I was married young, at 22. I had come from a home where I had been physically abused by my stepfather, and then he left my mom, my brother, and me. He just didn't come home one day. So knowing how to have a healthy relationship was not something I knew.

In my marriage, I had no idea what a narcissist was. But as the years went on, I learned that it was actually the disorder my husband had.

It started out with name-calling. I was called every put-down a woman could be called. Every time we had sex or he got angry. Mostly during sex.

We had three children, and I started out as a stay-at-home mom. Then my husband got laid off and decided he wasn't going to work again. He refused to talk about it and refused to deal with adult responsibilities. So I had to go to work, leaving my children with him.

He just quit on our marriage. He wouldn't work a job or do anything at home. Then the lectures started with me and the kids. We had to sit through one to three hours of him yelling at us.

I went back to school and became a pediatric oncology nurse.

As time went on, his need to control his family became worse. I was in my 50s when he started slapping my face. Then it went to punching my face, to fully beating me up.

He used lots of guilt with me and the kids. We felt bad about ourselves.

In my 50s, I started having stomach pain, fibromyalgia, and severe headaches. The hitting and name-calling became worse.

Then I found myself not being able to take it anymore. When he got angry, I would shake with anger instead of fear.

The day I left him, he had slapped me multiple times and had kicked me in the ribs. I was 58.

My aunt had lost her husband and lived alone, so I went to live with her. This was the second time I had done this. The first time, I couldn't break the emotional dependence on him. The second time, that attachment was gone. I feel God took it away.

I never went back.

He tried to get me back, but I could see that he took no responsibility for his actions and blamed the kids and me for his abuse.

I took care of my aunt for three years, which was hard after what I had gone through with my husband. She would also, at times, use verbal ways to be mean to me. That triggered a lot of deep emotions of resentment, anger, and hurt that I realized were buried deep inside me.

After she passed away, that's when I became free and started healing.

I live by myself and have a life of positivity, happiness, and no fear. There's still deep hurt and scars, but they're getting less strong. Fewer triggers.

I'm doing things that uplift me.

There's a lot more to my story. My husband was my monster, the closest I would get to pure evil. He did a lot more than I went into.

I have a close relationship with my kids and 11 grandkids.

But now I'm free. Free from a person who had such a large amount of hatred and unhappiness inside him.

I'm so glad not to have that around me anymore.

WHAT THEY BUILT AFTER

That I can live each day in positivity, laughter, and happiness. That I can love myself and others. Live in light, not darkness.